Tolerance - of others, and ourselves.

I wrote this last week- but I still really want to share it. 


In spite of all the stupid crap that happens in the world that just sucks, ranging from air show plane crashes to stabbings to famine to hate, which I often tend to think a lot about...there are events and moments when I just get so, so happy with the state of the world, and I want to celebrate two of those tonight. They are very different from each other.

a) The Rev. Thomas Kenea's ordination. I wrote about this on Facebook -

"sometimes really beautiful, really great things happen. like the Rev. Thomas D. Kenea gets ordained at Saint Luke Lutheran Church, and the offering goes to ELCA malaria campaign, and wot and injera are on the reception menu. Good vibes = when your new pastor goes down to the kitchen to say thank you to the clean up crew after his ordination reception."

- but I couldn't go without mentioning it again. It's not often I feel like I can speak for a large group of people, especially one like the congregation of Saint Luke Lutheran Church in Silver Spring, MD where I know many people by face but maybe half by name and am still getting re-settled into - but it feels hard to exaggerate the sense of relief and joy and gratitude and happiness that seems to be exuding from people's bodies and spirits when the subject of Pastor T being among us has come up. 

He's talked a lot about how cool it is that 100 years ago, when many of the Swedish/German-rooted congregations and churches were being formed in the USA, the first Lutheran missionaries came to spread the gospel in Ethiopia...and now the tables have turned a tad. And he, the congregation, his family...seems like we pretty much could not be happier about it.

I've never used this phrase in any of my blog or social media writing before, I believe, but as Pastor T said when I congratulated him this evening, "God is good." There are lots of different ways you can express that emotion, and many of my dear friends would choose a different phrase. I'm so interested by the fact that, nine and a half years after confirmation, I feel more comfortable using it now than ever before. 

okay, and as the preaching pastor said, "Easter is now", so without further ado:

b) 21st-Century Popular Television and the De-stigmatization of Mental Health. Yeah, I'm a recent college graduate...and I watch Glee.

 

 This is Emma Pillsbury, the high school guidance counselor. I was so, so moved by a scene from one of the last episodes of season 2 that, when I was watching the episode again today, I decided I wanted to transcribe it here.

In the scene, Emma is seeing a therapist. It opens as she is thoroughly, repetitively scrubbing and dusting a chair. 

Emma:  Ok! So. Nice and clean.

Therapist: I'm afraid we're out of time.

E: What do you mean I just sat down.

T: Well the therapeutic hour is 50 minutes and you just spent 48 of them disinfecting the chair. Emma looks stunned. It's clear you have a fairly severe case of obsessive-compulsive disorder

E: Really?

T: OCD is very treatable; a combination of medication and behavioral therapy will give you some relief from those feelings of, of panic that you might feel if, say, you think you forgot to unplug the curling iron-

 

E: Oh my god I think I forgot to unplug the curling iron.

T: There's a stigma in this country about mental illness. I mean, depression, anxiety, OCD, bipolar - they're hard to diagnose, so, people don't always appreciate that they're serious problems, but they are.

E: Yeah, um - I dunno.You know, I'm not sure I wanna lay on a couch and tell some stranger all of my secrets. And, I don't want to start popping pills just so I can turn into something that other people want me to be. This is how I am. This is who I'm supposed to be.

T: Your illness is not who you're supposed to be. It's keeping you from who you're supposed to be. Emma is crying. You're a guidance counselor, right? So if a student came to you and said they had diabetes, would you give them insulin? Or would you say "Hey, that's just who you're supposed to be?"

E: I- I just feel, um - I feel so ashamed.

T: Right. Well, you're not alone. After my daughter was born I had a severe case of post-partem depression. I would look down at this beautiful baby girl, like she wasn't even mine. Like all the color just came out of the world. But you know when the moment was when I started to feel just a little bit better? When I admitted that I needed some help. Well, that's what I'm here for. Can I tell you something, Emma? You're gonna feel better. I promise. I'm gonna give you a SSRI, we'll start with a low dosage, and that'll help you hold onto the serotonin that your brain naturally makes anyway. And I'd like to see you in about a week.

Reflections

Today is very strange. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel. I was definitely getting frustrated with all the media coverage leading up to today. I know why it existed, but there was so much.

I subbed for a member of the adult bell choir at my church this morning, so was up way earlier than I normally am, and collapsed in front of the TV when I got home for awhile, watching the towers fall again, and the ceremonies at the Ground Zero memorial, and the towers fall again. I remember watching a fair amount of TV in 2001, as an 8th-grader, but I don't remember watching again on subsequent anniversaries or taking tons and tons of time - a whole day, really - to remember and reflect until today.

Just the other week, I visited the National Museum of American History with two friends. In the exhibition called "Science in American Life" (or something like that), there is a section about the creation of the atomic bomb and the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I re-read the number I had read at some point in history class a while ago hit me the hardest its hit me thus far in my young adulthood.

The United States was responsible for the deaths of more than 200,000 people in those two bombings in 1945.

Yes, the military personnel who were responsible for the deaths and destruction of the bomb did not kill themselves in its detonation with the belief that they would get into heaven. And yes, when the atomic bomb was dropped, my country was explicitly involved in an awful war that had already claimed the lives of many. In the case of 9/11, we know what the motives of the hijackers were, and we were not at war.

But I think that number hit me so hard because from my life experience and classes of the last few years, I have realized that I really want my country to remember all of its history, with a critical (which doesn't always mean negative) collective memory instead of a selective one. As those who have dealt with mental illness and/or addictions know, recognizing and acknowledging a problem is one of the first steps on the road to recovery. I think the same is true for the conscious of our nation. As we remember and recognize our whole history, we take more steps on the road to a healthier country, ie., interfaith work such as the DC Unity Walk and educational events, particularly about Islam, that I participated in or heard about in Omaha.

There are lots and lots of good stories today about the good that people have done in the past 10 years. (Just read some in the Parade section that we get with the Washington Post.) That's an example of taking something awful (the death of a loved one), reflecting on it, and instead of spending hours focusing energy on thoughts of revenge, using that energy to create positive opportunities for others.

The national news in the last six months has been pretty damn infuriating, and there's a lot of issues to deal with. Today was sort of a reminder to me that I can take my energy of frustration with government and just sort of sit around and wring my hands...or I can use that energy to figure out something to do about it, whether it's getting in touch with the editor of my local paper or my representatives in government, or talking to people about it, or journaling or writing in this blog, or whatever. Something that transforms conflict can always be done.  This applies to other aspects of life as well. I just wish for the future that it won't take another violent and evil tragedy to remind me or my fellow citizens that.

I'm not sure I'm wild about every single sentence in this article, but I would still recommend checking out E.J. Dionne's column, "It's time for the nation to let go of 9/11".

Don't forget to tell your loved ones how you feel about them. And sleep well, remembering that bad things have happened, but there is ALWAYS something you can do about them.

Love,
Anna